The first day of 2012. What do I feel? Such a simple question, but the answer fails to register on my brain. How do I answer? As far as resolutions are concerned, I would rather not go that route. How may times did all of us prepare that list, year after year? promises of big changes, only to abandon them, and return to our old ways? I don’t like that anymore. Grand declarations or big changes. I am lost, still lost. And I decided, to just take baby steps. Little changes. Slight alterations. The impact may not be that big, but gradually it will be. I am trying to be careful, to lessen that spur of the moment urges that I am accustomed to. In my adolescent years, I always head straight onto things, I think about the consequences later. What matters is that I did what I want, and I’ll just have to pay the price later. Just let me do this, just go with it. I think I’ve already lost that boldness, I am careful more than ever. Maybe because, along all those spur of the moment choices, I got hurt after all the adrenaline had left my body. And worst I hurt people I love too. What’s done is done. I am not expecting too much this year. But I am hopeful that it will be nice. That I won’t be that lost. I can’t seem to find my way. I am really hopeful. And one should never run out of Hope.